The Haphazard Heist
by Beatbox Bandit
Summary: AU: When she agreed to this, the thought of being chased down by the crowned prince never crossed her mind. How silly of her.


Disclaimer: I do not have any rights to Naruto or any of its characters. This is a fanwork created for no profit.

It's been a while since I wrote anything another than essays. Criticism and suggestions are fully welcomed.

* * *

A gleaming white carriage decorated with swirls of gold leaf barreled down the dirt path, four pristine white horses propelling it.

Stationed in the trees above, two young, dirty brunette boys observed the approaching carriage. One whistled at the sight, "Rich bastard. We'll be eating meat for a month after this."

The other sighed, analyzing the carriage. Only a driver sat atop the carriage. Where was the guard...? It seemed unlikely that anyone with so much wealth to flaunt would be so careless as to not have a large guard. Maybe the guard was stationed within the carriage? That still seemed careless...

The carriage was almost to them, there was no time to think it over. They had to act now if they were going to be able to do this.

"Don't let your guard down, Naruto."

"Yeah, yeah. This guy's got nothing on us, let's go Sakura-chan!" And with a grin eating his face, Naruto jumped down in front of the carriage to block the path. The driver jerked at the reins, and the horses whinnied, rearing up in fear of the sudden obstacle before them. Yelling obscenties and nonsense, Naruto danced around the horses in glee to get to the door of the carriage.

Meanwhile, Sakura dropped down from the tree to the top of the carriage. From behind, she grabbed the driver and wrestled the reins out of his hands. Acting quickly, she took a rope from her back pocket and tied the man's hands behind his back. He looked over his shoulder at her, terror in his eyes. She smiled at him weakly. "We have no interest in you," she assured.

"Unhand me you little brat!"

Sakura looked over to see Naruto dragging out a fairly tall brunette, undressing him as he went. His overcoat and shirt were soon scattered in front of the door of the carriage. Sakura turned away as she saw the pants start to come off, shaking her head. He'd be mistaken as a rapist instead of a bandit, with that approach.

She dragged the driver down off the carriage, withdrawing more rope from her back pocket as they approached a tree. Sitting him down, she wrapped the rope around him and patted him on the shoulder. "Sit tight."

Turning from him, she extracted a kunai from the pouch that sat on her thigh atop ragged brown shorts. Cutting the two of the horses free, she slapped the lightly behind and they set off running down the path. Grabbing the remaining two, she cut them loose and carefully directed them away from the carriage.

Naruto came bounding up, stuffing the man's overcoat in a sack that was filled to the brim.

"Where did you leave him?" Sakura asked as she mounted one of the horses.

"Heh. Tied him to a tree behind the carriage."

Swiftly, they rode off.

* * *

The brunette stood tall in the middle of a gleaming white marble throne room, trying his best not to shiver. This was not something he ever pictured happening – standing before the king and the crowned prince in nothing but his underwear – and he was thoroughly trying to make this into a less humiliating situation, even if it was just by maintaining proper posture and an illusion of dignity.

"We found him hanging upside down from a tree," a royal guard snickered behind him, dressed in the signature black shinobi pants and a black long sleeved shirt with the uchiwa fan emblem located on both shoulders.

The king nodded, "our cousin was getting worried about where her husband ran off to." The guard grinned from ear to ear as the king continued. "What happened?"

"I was attacked by bandits, O-sama!" He protested indignantly. The brats should be hunted down and publicly executed for their actions, if he had his say.

"Where are your guards?" The young king asked, resting his chin in his hand propped against the ornate iron throne. The question caught the man off guard. He looked away and stuttered slightly.

"I… I didn't have any guards… A man should be able to travel without worry of being attacked by some little brats, O-sama!"

The prince stepped forward from his position next to the throne, and the man gulped, quickly realizing he may have overstepped. The prince was a fearsome boy, dressed in the same royal guard uniform, his dark hair sticking up in the back and his coal eyes bearing into the man's. He suppressed a tremor of sheer terror as the boy opened his mouth. "What did the bandits look like?"

"There… there were two of them, Sasuke-sama," he began, licking his lips as he tried to steady his voice. "One around your age and a smaller one, maybe fifteen. They were both boys, brunettes and dirty. The one who tied me up was… unarmed," he cringed at the admittance. "But the other had a weapon pouch attached to their thigh. It looked worn, but it was clean. They probably stole it from someone else…" he grumbled the last part bitterly, eyes narrowing at the bottom stair as he remembered the bandits.

"You may go," the king spoke up as he finished. "Your wife made it clear she would like you back as soon as possible."

He looked up at the king and nodded quickly before scampering out with as much dignity as he could, still clad in only his underwear. He'd need to find some clothes before he was subjected to his wife's wrath…

Sasuke turned towards the king swiftly as the man left. "We can't just let people attack our clansmen, Itachi."

Itachi sighed, shifting in his throne. The damned thing looked impressive, but it was hardly comfortable. "Times are tough for our people right now, otouto."

"Idiot was flaunting his wealth right past the poor and without a guard." The guard spoke as he walked up the stairs toward the two, a grin still plastered on his face. "Can't expect much else to happen."

Sasuke turned to glare at the guard. The guard chuckled. "You go avenge us, kiddo. Might do him so good to get out of this castle for once, Itachi." The guard turned towards Itachi as he said the last statement, looking him in the eyes.

"Shisui…" Itachi mumbled, before looking at Sasuke. Sighing, he waved helplessly at Sasuke. "Fine, do what you wish."

* * *

"And then these two guys twice my size came charging at me! The duke went to hide behind a tree while I took them both on…" Naruto went on, making sound effects when he kicked and punched the air. Fifteen odd children between the ages of four and eleven sat in a semi-circle around him, awe shining in their eyes as he told the story.

Sakura sat on a ratty two-seater couch on the other side of the large living room, watching as Naruto recounted the tale of him saving a Duke from a hoard of thirty bandits this afternoon. The Duke, in an act of immense gratitude, gave them all that money they came home with this afternoon.

Her sister, Karin, walked over to Sakura with a cup of tea in each hand. Handing one gently to Sakura, she plopped down next to her on the couch. "He's a disturbingly good liar."

Sakura hummed, leaning back into the couch and taking a sip of her tea. One of the older children, Konohamaru, came in from the backyard and started to help Naruto act out the fight. "It keeps the children entertained," she mumbled.

"Which is beautiful," Karin agreed. She had to deal with them all day. If they would sit and stay relatively quiet for a few minutes, she'd welcome just about anything. "As was the money you came back with today." She glanced at Sakura before sipping her tea. Sakura shifted, not taking her eyes off the performance.

"Not to be greedy," Karin said offhandedly after a minute passed, "but if you could get another haul like that, it would be really helpful."

Sakura finally took her eyes off of the children to look at Karin. "Was that not enough for food?"

"It should cover us for a month or two, but there are some other things… Some of the beds are breaking, so some of the children are sharing beds. It'd be nice to replace some things…"

Sakura sighed, "we'll see."

Karin nodded, knowing that was the best she was going to get out of her. As she stood up to go back to the kitchen, Sakura caught her attention.

"I'll be working at the clinic tomorrow."

* * *

"It looks like you're doing just fine, Sato-san," Sakura smiled while patting the old man on the shoulder. She got off her stool, starting to move to the back of the small wooden shack. "Let me just get your medicine, and you'll be ready to go."

The old man smiled at her as she started go look through the cabinets for the things she needed. "We need more young ones like you, sensei," he praised her. "Respectful and taking care of people, you're a perfect example for kids your age. Yet we have brats running around disrespecting their elders and stealing from the Uchiha!"

Sakura looked up confused, "stealing from Uchiha?"

"Oh yeah!" Sato-san cheerfully grinned. The old man talked about respect, but he did seem to love to gossip. Sakura started to measure out the medicine as he continued. "Some kids stopped a Uchiha carriage just yesterday, stole everything the poor bastard had on him. It wasn't too far from here, apparently. Some royal guards were asking if we had seen the kids this morning."

Sakura froze. Yesterday? _Uchiha_? That was impossible… No, no, no.

"A Uchiha? How did anyone get the drop on a Uchiha?" She asked, placing the last bit in the small pouch before walking back over to him.

"It was a noble who married into the Uchiha. Some cousin of the king. He wasn't a shinobi, apparently. Seems even the Uchiha are facing hard enough times that they'll marry money rather than talent!" The old man laughed as he accepted the medicine pouch. Patting her on the head, he turned to leave. She followed him to the door, smiling.

"Take care of yourself, sensei. Watch out for bandits."

"Thank you, Sato-san." As he closed the door of the shack behind him, she quickly fished a key chain out of her medic apron. Rushing back over to the medicine cabinets, she locked them before making a beeline for the door.

They had robbed a Uchiha. Granted, only in name, but it was the name that mattered. This was a mess; she had no idea how they had been so careless.

Closing and locking the door to the shack, she ran off towards the orphanage. She needed to talk to Naruto.

She finally found him on the second floor of the orphanage, sitting in the corner in the main bedroom for the children. Karin had pointed her in this direction in a huff, when she finally got a break from yelling at two children to stop climbing in the tree. On Naruto's right, an eight year old and a six year old sat facing the wall as well…

Timeout, really?

Making her way through the room, she took a guilty notice of the beds. They were all twin beds with the cheapest metal frames Naruto and she could find. Only eight were left in the room, several of them having multiple pillows on them. The mattresses looked worn, some lumpy.

She sighed as she passed them. If she didn't know better, she would have thought Karin had planned this.

Ignoring Naruto, she squatted down to be eyelevel with the two children. They quietly looked over their shoulders at her. The older one – Hiro, she recalled – looked at her with inquisitively while the younger one looked completely ashamed of himself.

"Why are you two in timeout?"

"We were just jumping on the bed, nee-san. Naruto-nii-san was letting us, but Karin got mad anyways!" Hiro pouted up at her. The boy was constantly driving Karin insane, and Naruto – who might as well have been another child that Karin was taking care of – ended up enabling the boy more than he realized. Nodding, she put an understanding face on.

"How long have you been in timeout?"

"About five minutes?" Hiro replied, looking thoughtful.

"Jumping on the beds will break them. So, if you break them, you'll be the ones sleeping on them. Got it?"

They both looked at her wide eyed before nodding. "Yes nee-san."

"Good," she smiled. "Then you can go play outside."

They popped up instantly, running across the room. "Be easy on Karin," she called as she heard them stumble down the stairs.

Turning back towards Naruto, she saw that he had turned on his small foot stool to look at her curiously. She eyed him, debating whether to bring up the Uchiha first or lecture him on allowing the children to jump on the beds.

"What's wrong, Sakura-chan?" His voice broke her out of her thoughts. Well, that decided the matter for her.

"The man we robbed was a Uchiha."

Naruto blinked, then his eyebrows furrowed as he digested the information. "That's not funny, Sakura-chan. The guy wasn't even a shinobi."

"No, he married a Uchiha, and now the royal guard is looking for us."

Standing up, Naruto looked her in the eye. "They won't find us, Sakura-chan."

She knew that. That wasn't what worried her. They had sold everything under their henges. The man they sold to had a strict no questions policy, everything was gotten rid of and they had done it all several towns over. They had probably robbed the man much too close to their town, yes, but there was no clues left behind to connect it to them.

After several moments, she spoke what had been on her mind for months. "We have to stop this. We're going to get caught…"

Naruto looked grim. "You know we can't, Sakura-chan. There's peace now, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but there's no jobs for shinobi now. I go check for missions or any jobs every day, and I'm lucky to get one once a week."

She shook her head, "I can talk Shizune-senpai into letting me work at the clinic full time. Konohamaru and you can get a job helping in the fields, he and Udon are old enough to work now…"

"There's nearly twenty of us here, Sakura-chan! Any pay we get barely feeds us, much less the kids…"

Sakura closed her eyes, clenching her apron in her hands and leaning forward onto his shoulder. Naruto hugged her lightly, rubbing her back. "If we pull another heist off quick, we can live easy for six months or so, probably," he murmured.

It was a stupid idea. The royal guards were looking for them. "We'll wait until next month," her response was muffled by his shoulder. Naruto hummed in agreement, placing his chin on top of her head. "The guard should be gone by then."

* * *

Sasuke stared at the three boys on their knees before him. Sasuke had grabbed the carriage his cousin's fool of a husband got robbed in – it was ostentatious enough to be irresistible to bandits, he figured – and collected two of his most trusted guards, Suigetsu and Juugo. Together, they had been riding to the towns situated close to the area of the original robbery to gather information. They were interrupted, however, by these three.

None of them fit the description that had been given to him. One was a tall, sickly thin blond, while the other two did happen to be brunettes. They were all in their mid-twenties, though, by the looks of them, and they were caring farm tools as weapons.

Had the whole Fire country descended into havoc since the war ended? Or was this area just a lawless cesspool?

"Just kill them," he grunted at Suigetsu, turning back to the carriage.

Suigetsu grinned, pulling up his oversized blade and lining it up with their necks. As Sasuke stepped into the carriage, he heard brief screams.


End file.
